


i made a home in your heart but you tore the walls down

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Brand New, Taking Back Sunday
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	i made a home in your heart but you tore the walls down

This used to be innocent, used to be just lying on shoulders in long car rides home or holding each other while they slept. It wasn’t supposed to turn into anything physical, but John couldn’t help thinking of how Jesse smells or thinking about his mouth on him when he touches himself at night. He figured it would be fleeting, that this feeling would go away eventually, yet that gets pushed out of his mind when Jesse kisses him in his room. It was during one of those unspoken moments where they would lie in John's bed, stare at the ceiling, and Jesse would throw an arm around John’s waist as they talked about childhood memories, the future, or dreams they had the night before. There was a point where John had told him about a recurring dream he has - the one where clocks are melting around him and pyramids rise from the ground, he doesn’t know what it means but it creeps him out nonetheless - and Jesse was just looking at John. Listening. And he leaned over a bit and kissed the corner of his mouth. They didn’t say much after but John kept him closer and he remembers waking up with Jesse’s nose pressed in the crook of his neck.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way, but months later John is pressed up against a wall in Jesse’s apartment. There’s lips and teeth attached to his neck and hands pushing up his shirt, testing the skin underneath. And it feels so fucking good. And right. And eventually, Jesse knows all of John’s favorite spots and how to get him worked up. They don’t talk after they fuck, and if they do, John definitely doesn’t bring up how he sometimes wonders what taking Jesse out would be like. Like, not just going to shows or parties together as usual - to take him on a proper date. How it would feel to hold his hand and know that they were only each other’s.

Until, well, one day John does.

Jesse is in the passenger seat of his car and they’re pulled over because Jesse had mentioned a date he wanted to go on with a girl he knew from class, and John had this sick feeling wash over him. The kind when you know you just heard something you didn’t wanna hear and your heart drops into your stomach. John’s knuckles are pale white from gripping the wheel so tight when he composes himself enough to ask Jesse what he meant to him. Jesse asks what he means, and John knows he knows what he means, what the _fuck_. And Jesse tells him that he likes when they kiss and when they fuck but they can’t be a couple, it just can't happen, it wouldn't be right for them. John is fixated on the side of the road ahead of them and and just says “yeah. yeah.” and anyone could read the hurt in his voice and in his face. After a beat, Jesse says, “What did you think we were? That we’re together? That I was your boyfriend? C'mon, John.” and with that, John starts the car and they don’t speak the whole way. He drops Jesse off at his apartment.

When John goes back home, he’s staring at the ceiling like they did before it all got complicated. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way.


End file.
